yesterday was exactly a good day.
had a talk.
it wasn't great.
i have no idea what or how to feel rn.
there are questions running through my mind.
'Am i really like that?'
'Do people really feel that way of me?'
'Am i that bad?'
'Am i the only one in fault?'
'why?'
'Why is everything coming on me rn?'
i feel....................................
idk. i am starting to feel like maybe i really am like that.
maybe people really did not like me.
maybe everyone around me,
those that i love and cherish,
those that i thought were my friends and best friends,
don't even like me at all.
you know what i mean?
what i am going through right now?
it seems like everything is toppling down.
i never thought things would be like this.
i never thought those that are around me,
would ever, ever turn out to be like this.
i never thought this would have ever happen.......... again.
she said it's because of my anger.
how i get angry so easily.
how i get mad at everything.
how i get mad and start yelling at people.
how i vented my anger on Twitter.
all of these seemed like what happened 5 years ago.
5 years ago, i changed a lot.
my temper was worst than how it is right now.
i still remember the teacher that talked me through with patience.
i am thankful for his words.
but i guess,
i have to change more.
they say,
'people change. it takes time. but its worth it.'
is it true?
if it is,
i am willing to change.
5 years ago, it took me quite some time to change.
then, i graduated with the best clique ever.
that i once lost and had again, till now.
what about this time?
am i able to do it?
i did it 2 years ago too.
then i got back my best friend.
when things like this happen,
who would bother to be patient and stick around you?
those people, they say,
'Oh, don't worry. I'll be there for you no matter what! You can count on me.'
L I E S.
those are just lies.
words, without any action.
Thank You.
It hit me really hard.
i will change.
watch me.
it's just a matter of time.
then, i'll see who will stick around & who are the real ones.