Have I ever told you how much I loved the weekends or is it just something that everyone in general feel the same way for? I loved the weekends because it is the time I get to catch up on my sleep, laze around without having to worry about the assignments for tomorrow, or the tasks that I have to complete. I get to stay in bed and just chill. Considering the fact that my life is in a huge mess right now, or maybe it is just me, I would very much just want to lay in bed and cry and watch my series. Sadly, I can't afford to do that, or at least until O's are over. I cannot wait for O's to be over. There's so much I want to do, but I would also like to just hibernate for a week (or as long as I need to, to recover), before putting myself out in the world, again.
I got a new memo book. Wrote down different lists of things that I have to get done with. Set different datelines to make myself see that time is running out. 47 more days. This is insane. I am going bonkers. My body and mind is falling apart, soon breaking into pieces just like my heart. Oh, how I wish I could save myself once again. But this time round, I think I can't be saved no more.
Oh & yes, thank god for my wonderful bunch of pillars. For me to lean on, during times like these. I need a break. I need a breather. I need time to slow down, for me to see what is actually happening and to calm myself down. I don't even have a chance to explain myself. I don't even have a chance to tell myself to accept the truth and move on. I can't. I can. I don't know anymore. I am falling apart.
xo,
Chloe.
